I want to finish well and finish strong and I know firsthand the last part of running a marathon is the hardest and as we near the end of this race, we are doing our best to stay motivated and positive. This was especially hard because I just received word that Sydney did not have a good night and that she stopped breathing and required stimulation to start breathing again. The news was very disappointing because we were scheduled to be discharged tomorrow and even though we know that she is exactly where she needs to be and is getting the care she needs, it did not make the news any easier to bear. Hearing that her 7 day A & B watch countdown was going to begin again was like crossing the finish line only to find out I had to run back to the beginning now.
Being strong and courageous in the presence peril is impossible on our own, but through the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, we are empowered to overcome any adversity. Through Christ, we have the strength and perseverance to finish any race strong, but so many times we start our races strong, but along the way we hit the proverbial “wall.” Hitting this wall often leads to pain or discouragement, but these don’t mean what we are walking through is no longer God’s will because sometimes the race God calls us to run is filled with them.
The longer I am here, the more I pick up on subtle things that I had not previously noticed. Obviously, one of the first things we could tell was the sex of people’s babies based on if the parent’s bracelet was pink or blue. Also, if they had multiple ID bracelets, it meant they had twins or triplets. One thing I noticed today was what a brand new bracelet looked like and as I looked down at mine, I could no longer read Sydney’s or mom’s name. What used to be vibrant pink is now faded and all you can read now is her birthdate: 1/19/12. One of the saddest things I have seen during my time here was a mother who had two bracelets one day and then the next day I saw her, she only had one. I later found out that one of her babies had passed away during the night. No matter how worn my bracelet gets or how beat down I feel, I never want to have to take my bracelet off.
This continues to be one of the hardest races I have ever had to run, but I know that the work God has begun, He will finish. I know He is at work right now and I know I am fighting the good fight. I want nothing more than to keep the faith and to finish this race well. Victory will be mine, once I do and it will all be because of the supernatural power of Jesus Christ. My pain will not be in vain because I know my faith and witness here are accomplishing things I cannot even fathom. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if I only finish the race and don’t testify to the greatness of God’s grace and mercy along the way; they are new every morning and they are giving me exactly what I need to finish well.