Finish Well

I want to finish well and finish strong and I know firsthand the last part of running a marathon is the hardest and as we near the end of this race, we are doing our best to stay motivated and positive.  This was especially hard because I just received word that Sydney did not have a good night and that she stopped breathing and required stimulation to start breathing again.  The news was very disappointing because we were scheduled to be discharged tomorrow and even though we know that she is exactly where she needs to be and is getting the care she needs, it did not make the news any easier to bear.  Hearing that her 7 day A & B watch countdown was going to begin again was like crossing the finish line only to find out I had to run back to the beginning now.

Being strong and courageous in the presence peril is impossible on our own, but through the power and presence of the Holy Spirit, we are empowered to overcome any adversity.  Through Christ, we have the strength and perseverance to finish any race strong, but so many times we start our races strong, but along the way we hit the proverbial “wall.”  Hitting this wall often leads to pain or discouragement, but these don’t mean what we are walking through is no longer God’s will because sometimes the race God calls us to run is filled with them.

The longer I am here, the more I pick up on subtle things that I had not previously noticed.  Obviously, one of the first things we could tell was the sex of people’s babies based on if the parent’s bracelet was pink or blue.  Also, if they had multiple ID bracelets, it meant they had twins or triplets.  One thing I noticed today was what a brand new bracelet looked like and as I looked down at mine, I could no longer read Sydney’s or mom’s name.  What used to be vibrant pink is now faded and all you can read now is her birthdate: 1/19/12.  One of the saddest things I have seen during my time here was a mother who had two bracelets one day and then the next day I saw her, she only had one.  I later found out that one of her babies had passed away during the night.  No matter how worn my bracelet gets or how beat down I feel, I never want to have to take my bracelet off.

This continues to be one of the hardest races I have ever had to run, but I know that the work God has begun, He will finish.  I know He is at work right now and I know I am fighting the good fight.  I want nothing more than to keep the faith and to finish this race well.  Victory will be mine, once I do and it will all be because of the supernatural power of Jesus Christ.  My pain will not be in vain because I know my faith and witness here are accomplishing things I cannot even fathom.  However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if I only finish the race and don’t testify to the greatness of God’s grace and mercy along the way; they are new every morning and they are giving me exactly what I need to finish well.


3 thoughts on “Finish Well

  1. Danny McKinney says:

    Thats what we are doing ? Let God do the talking, by heart so we can make the right choices that will sound professional. I do believe God doesn’t make mistakes through his people. But by heart, what we are asking for is ? He doesn’t answer our prayers what we want ? Its a needful desire that we dont have other choices what others understand the situation ? People in their families are not difficult people to handle. We are looking up to God day and night, to see How we take our time eagerly ? God doesn’t want anybody to handle in anything, thats how we are worried. I been praying for many People what they are asking for ? They need to take their time eagerly to be patient.

  2. Carissa Willhite says:

    Dear Jeff~

    As I sit here reading the story of your little princess, I remember the small trials my little girl was given when she was first born. She was a premie, but only 3-4 weeks early, she was extreamly jaundius. I was a first time Momma with her and the day of her birth just so happen to be the day before my “Golden” Birthday. Needless to say I felt that God graced me with my peanut on that day for what ever reason instead of her due date on Febuary 4th. She was able to come home the day after my birthday. We had to come home with a bilirubin machine that she had to have attached to her at all times unless I was giving her a bath. When the nurse from the hospital came to check on both of us a few days later, I was doing fine, she however had gotten worse! So this meant that on my moms birthday we had to have her RE-admitted to the hospital. She was placed in the NICU under 300% lighting (one under her back, one over top of her, and one just for her head). She was placed in one of the little plastic “cribs” and I couldn’t hold my baby. If it was feeding time or a diaper needed to be changed I had to darn a pair of gloves before I could reach inside to care for my tiny baby girl. The entire time we were in the hospital the nurses were coming in ever 30 minutes, sticking a “needle” (like is used to draw blood for a diabetic meter) on her foot to take and fill about a 1 inch test tube full of blood. She would scream and cry and pull her oh so small feet away from anyone that tried to touch her There wasn’t a thing that I could do to help my princess. I could not figure out why God made me stand and watch her cry for her Momma to help her but only let me watch like I was frozen in time. Now, 9 years later, I think I finally hit my head on the nail that answers that exact question.
    I found your blog through Jules, my husbands cousin, in a great time of need on my end. You see, my daughter has a hyphenated (sp) first name. Eliza was going to be her first name. However my mom, who I’m not close too, stayed with me in my hospital room the day my princess arrived in the world instead of going to her Trace Adkins concert (a concert that she all ready had her tickets for). The was not something I ever expected of my mom, so my little girl became Eliza-Lynn for her first name. This gave her my moms middle name as part of her first. My mom was tickled pink at this thought, and it did bring us a smidge closer. My mom passed away on December 20th, 2010 at her home after a very short, un-known, and un-expected battle with cancer. She was only 52 with her birthday approaching January 27th. I was there as my mom took her last few breaths and it has been the worst challange God has ever dealt me. I used to wonder why he put me through my battle with my first daughter….. NOW I know that he was prepairing me for the loss of my mom almost 8 years later. It was to get me set to be the strong one for my family, to be that ROCK for everyone to cry on. A few days before my moms passing, while she was in the hospital in Rockford, IL. She sat straight up in bed, after being limp and unresponsive to any sound or pain stimulation and talked to “THE WALL”. She told “THE WALL” that she did believe, yes she understood, yes she was ready, said ” Okay, I will! Thank you” and laid back down in her bed. As this was happening to my mom, my step-dad was in the bathroom in tears as he was fearing my moms time was close to the end and was praying to God to let him hear her voice just one more time before he took her to be one of his Angels again. My grandparents and the rest of us in the room all had goose bumps so tall you couldn’t help but wonder if the air conditioning was turned on. As soon as my step dad walked out, my mom looked at me and said, “Hi Carissa! I love you!” I started to cry. She told every one else in the room the same thing and was with us for about 30 minutes and then laid back down in bed and became unresponsive again. We have only to believe that God came to visit and was standing at the foot on her bed to let her know that he had only giving my her a short trip here on earth. A trip that included giving birth to me (her only child), having a husband that cared so deeply for her, being granted her first granddaughter and giving me the insite to name her as a “name-sake” to her, and showing me that no matter what is put on our plates we do go through this short life in his hands at all times.
    I have a much stronger faith in God now that I ever have before. I’m just coming out of my 3rd knee surgery (had it done on Febuary 3rd) and right before I went under I simply said, “Momma I know your here, please carry me through.” God, as you well know has an awful big plate of life in front of him…… somtimes that small “pea” falls off that we gets un-noticed/taken for granet…… sometimes he cleans things up that shouldn’t be touching/ areas that need restructured……….. and sometimes he gives himself two helpings of the sweet things in life/ family & friends! I look at my life every day and tell myself this one simple thing….. I hope you can use this as your fighting your head and your heart right now.

    Carissa, Today I will do my best to not let to many peas fall off of my plate, I will remember to trust honor and respect all that I am given in life. Today I will clean up the things that shouldn’t be touching and start to make the small changes on my end of world that need to be restructured. Today I will have 2 sweets and more if I really like them, I will tell my husband I love him every day, I will kiss my kids good-night before bed and tell them I love them too, I will let my friends know on the phone that they are important to me and I’m so glad they were gifted to me by God to be a part of my special plan. I am loved, I do love, and I am here for whatever challange you feed me today.

    I am looking forward to your next blog post and will pray now as I’m finally headed to bed that your baby princess continues to know that God will lift her up, will help her fight, and will give her so many gifts in life. He’s already giving her the most important one and that is a Momma and Daddy that care so much about her… Enough to share her story and their own with all of us that are so far away. ((Hugg)) for all and I hope some of my story helps you, message me anytime you need to…. I’m always around since I’m down with my knee.

  3. Jeff Davis says:

    Awesome word Carissa! Great story of God’s faithfulness and an encouragement to me. Do you journal or write, because your response was powerful!

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