Crushed but Not Destroyed

“The greatest evil is physical pain.” Saint Augustine

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 (NIV)

The first night home from the hospital was brutal; most of it was spent in tears mixed with screams and groans. My spine literally felt like the main attraction at a monster truck rally. At points it would feel like two trucks were playing tug-of-war with my vertebrae while someone was heating my lumbar section with a plasma torch. monster truch tug of war
The grand finally came when “Grave Digger” came off a jump landing directly on my spine. At that point, I wish I lost consciousness, but instead, I was awoken screaming in agony.

I am trusting God to get me through this day, even though my pain continually gets worse each passing moment! Spinal Scar
My goal is to keep praise and thanksgiving on my mind and lips. Even in my anxiousness and nervousness, I am choosing to rest in His presence. I am praising Him for the healing taking place in my body and I believe my pain is just part of that plan.

I am going to let God literally guide each step I take today, which shouldn’t be too hard since I am using a walker! Me with walker
I will trust and depend upon the Lord for everything I need and when I find myself feeling self-pity or worrying something is wrong, I will lean upon the Lord even more.

If we are constantly praising the Lord, there is no time left to doubt or worry His plan doesn’t include giving us a bright hope and future filled with blessings!

My prayer is God would strengthen me both physically and spiritually so that when I am on the other side looking back, I can say God supplied all my needs and that only He deserves all the honor, praise and glory!
hands held high

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One for the Record Books

I was literally cut in half and put back together; if you are reading this, I’m still alive…

“Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.” Jeremiah 17:14 (NIV)
heal-me

Pain always serves a purpose in our life and everyone has experienced it at some point, whether it’s: physical, emotional or spiritual. Knowing the cause or reason of our pain doesn’t make it any less real, because it’s our body’s way of telling us something is wrong.

In my quest to find healing, I first went to God: the Divine Healer-Jehovah Rophe and pleaded with Him to take my pain. IfIcouldTouchOfHisGarment

I’m pleading with Him as I type these words, but at the same time I am praising Him for bringing the Surgeon into my path to facilitate my healing. This last year, despite my pain from the vehicle accident, I have grown closer to the Lord because it taught me to rely on His strength daily to deal with my pain.

God’s timing is perfect and when we walk according to His will, we will find and know true peace.God is working time bar

With my initial surgeon, I didn’t have this peace and in my spirit, it just felt like I needed to keep looking for the man God had lined up to take my pain away. Ultimately, only God heals us and only God restores us, but He can use whatever means He chooses to; often, that includes men and women.

My new surgeon, Dr. Poelstra said something which resonated such peace within my spirit. He said, “When God chooses not to heal people miraculously, He uses my hands to heal them in the natural.” He went on to say that God had anointed and blessed his hands and he gives the glory to God for all the work he does.jesus-doctor-healing

One of the greatest secrets of success is to not want to be famous and this doctor exemplified that statement! It can be so easy to take credit for the gifts God gives us…

I praise God I had the patience and trust to wait upon the Lord and now I have been fully restored. I continually lift my eyes up because my help comes from the Lord daily; He is my refuge and strength. It was in His presence and protection, I found my fear wiped away and it was there where restoration and wholeness began to take place. Thank you for your prayers and I give God all the glory for the work He is doing in and through me!

Jesus Gave His All

As the needle pierced my spine, the surgeon and his team rushed to sedate me…

“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5

Lying on the surgery table undergoing a procedure called a discogram; I had no idea what I was in for. The point of this procedure was to isolate the cause of my severe back and leg pain. One year ago, I was hit by a speeding truck while riding my bicycle, but the pain of the accident paled in comparison to what I was now experiencing as a needle longer than my arm was plunged into my back. As the dye was released into my disc, the agony I experienced caused one of the nurses who had just started to break down in tears watching me scream in pain.
Surgery Room

In no way am I comparing myself to Jesus or the suffering He endured on the cross for our sins, because as I had a 22 gauge needle inside me, He had a spear thrust into His side; He had a crown of thorns driven into His head and He endured 39 lashes that ripped the flesh from His body. It was for our sins that Christ endured this suffering and ultimately sacrificed His life so we could be made whole.

By the stripes that were laid upon His back, we have healing!

jesus-on-cross

By the blood Jesus shed, we receive atonement for our sin!

Take a moment right now and thank Him for the sacrifice He made. Realize what He did at Calvary was the ultimate expression of His love for us. I thank God my healing is on its way and I praise Him in advance for what He is going to do. If you have a need in your life whether it’s physical or other; just know the price Jesus paid on the cross will more than cover any cost.