This entire journey with our daughter being in the NICU has taught me a lot, but one of the biggest take-aways has been adapting to change. We are currently scheduled to be discharged tomorrow, if she has another good night and being in this same spot two times before has me so excited I can barely contain myself! Even though change in inevitable, it is one of the hardest things for most people to cope with. Growing up in a military family, moving all the time and traveling all over the world regularly introduced me to change at an early age, so as a result, change is something that I have become accustomed to, but something that is still hard to deal with.
When we can learn to trust God, even in change, He can use us in a mighty way to reach those who are paralyzed by it. Mark Twain once said that, “The only people who like change are wet babies” and even they don’t like it all the time, especially if the wipes are cold! In times of change, God is doing a new thing and when we are open to it, we will thrive because when there seems to be no way, He will make a way. Isaiah 43:19 says, “He will make a way in the dessert and streams in the wasteland.”
Even though every day is different, these past 26 days have begun to run together and there has been a constant battle with emotions, heartache and pain. Dealing with fear and anxiety daily while having our world turned upside down has truly shown me that my God is the same yesterday, today and forever. Some days we were praising God, while others we were crying out to Him to spare our daughters life, but we never lost faith that she was in His loving hands. God’s greatest opportunity to shine is when there seems to be no way; the problem is we often wait until there is no way before we will turn to God.
Even in change, especially when it is painful, we must look for God’s goodness because He will take our weakness and pain and use them to strengthen us. Psalm 28:7 says, “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in Him and I am helped; therefore my heart greatly rejoices, and with my song I will praise Him.” Not being in control has been hard for me, partly because of the unknown, but mostly because I like to be in the driver’s seat. The problem with God being in the driver’s seat doesn’t happen until there is a bump in the road or a sharp turn where we must trust in Him alone. I have learned along the way that roads traveled where God seems to be in the way or where He is nowhere to be found are not the roads I want to be on. It ultimately comes down to trust and whether we are going to rely on God at all times. We must surrender to His will and allow Him to be in control of everything we do because when Jesus takes the wheel we won’t be disappointed!