When God Leads Us Through Change

This entire journey with our daughter being in the NICU has taught me a lot, but one of the biggest lessons has been learning how to adapt to change. Change is never easy, especially when it comes suddenly, painfully, and without our permission. Yet if there is one thing I have seen over and over again during these last several weeks, it is that God remains faithful even when everything around us keeps shifting.

We are currently scheduled to be discharged tomorrow, if Sydney has another good night. Just writing those words fills my heart with so much excitement that I can barely contain myself. We have been in this same spot two times before, hoping and praying that we were finally getting ready to take our little girl home, only to have something happen that delayed the process again. Because of that, I am excited, but I am also trying to keep my heart surrendered. I want to celebrate what God is doing, but I also want to trust Him no matter what tomorrow brings.

That is one of the hard things about change. It keeps reminding us that we are not in control.

Even though change is inevitable, it is still one of the hardest things for most people to cope with. We like rhythms. We like plans. We like knowing what to expect. We like feeling like we have some control over the direction our life is heading. But change has a way of interrupting our plans and reminding us that we are not the ones holding everything together.

Growing up in a military family, I was introduced to change at an early age. Moving often, traveling all over the world, adjusting to new places, meeting new people, and learning new routines became a regular part of life. Because of that, I have become more accustomed to change than some people, but that does not mean change is always easy for me. Just because you have learned how to adjust does not mean your heart does not feel the weight of transition.

And this change, having our newborn daughter in the NICU, has been one of the hardest adjustments I have ever had to make.

This was not the way I pictured bringing Sydney into the world. I imagined joy, celebration, sleepless nights at home, and learning how to be a dad with my baby in my arms. I did not imagine monitors, wires, oxygen levels, feeding schedules, breathing episodes, medical updates, and walking in and out of a hospital multiple times a day. I did not imagine learning the language of the NICU or having my heart rise and fall with every report.

But even here, God has been faithful.

When we learn to trust God in seasons of change, He can use us in mighty ways to reach people who feel paralyzed by it. Mark Twain once said, “The only people who like change are wet babies.” And even they do not like it all the time, especially if the wipes are cold. That line makes me laugh because it is true. Most of us resist change, even when the change is necessary. We may want things to get better, but we often do not like the discomfort that comes with the process.

Yet Scripture reminds us that God often does His greatest work in seasons of transition.

Isaiah 43:19 says, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” Then the Lord says, “I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

That verse has meant so much to me during this season. God does not need perfect conditions to make a way. He does not need easy circumstances to provide streams. He does not need everything to make sense before He begins to work. He can make a way in the wilderness. He can bring water to dry places. He can bring life into places that feel barren. He can bring hope into hospital rooms, peace into anxious hearts, and purpose into painful chapters.

Even though every day has been different, these past twenty-six days have also begun to run together. The days have been filled with a constant battle of emotions, heartache, uncertainty, and pain. There have been moments of joy and moments of fear. Moments of praise and moments of tears. Moments when we felt strong and moments when we cried out to God, asking Him to spare our daughter’s life.

But through it all, we never lost faith that Sydney was in His loving hands.

Dealing with fear and anxiety daily while having our world turned upside down has shown me that my God truly is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Our circumstances have changed. The reports have changed. The schedule has changed. Our emotions have changed. But God has not changed. His faithfulness has not changed. His love has not changed. His presence has not changed. His power has not changed.

Some days we were praising God because Sydney had made progress. Other days we were crying out to Him because something had gone wrong. Some days we felt hopeful. Other days we felt exhausted. But every single day, God was there.

I am learning that God’s greatest opportunities to shine often come when there seems to be no way. The problem is that many times we wait until there is no way before we turn to Him. We try everything we know to do first. We lean on our own understanding. We look for control. We search for solutions. Then, when we finally reach the end of ourselves, we cry out to God.

But what if we learned to seek Him first?

What if we trusted Him before the crisis?

What if we surrendered the wheel before the sharp turn?

What if we believed that the God who makes a way in the wilderness is already working before we ever see the road open?

Even in change, especially when change is painful, we must look for God’s goodness. That does not mean we pretend the pain is not real. It does not mean we act like fear never touches us. It does not mean we deny the difficulty of what we are walking through. It means we choose to believe that pain is not the only thing present. God is present too.

Psalm 28:7 says, “The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me.” Then the psalmist says, “My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.”

That is what I have needed during this journey. I have needed the Lord to be my strength because my own strength has not been enough. I have needed Him to be my shield because fear has tried to attack my heart and mind. I have needed Him to help me because there have been so many moments when I felt powerless. And because He has helped me, I can still praise Him.

Not being in control has been hard for me. Part of that is because of the unknown, but if I am honest, another part is because I like being in the driver’s seat. I like knowing where we are going. I like having a plan. I like being able to anticipate the next step. But this season has reminded me that control is often an illusion. We can make plans, but we cannot control outcomes. We can make decisions, but we cannot control every detail. We can do our best, but we still need God to guide, protect, provide, and sustain.

The real challenge with letting God be in the driver’s seat usually does not come when the road is smooth. It comes when there is a bump in the road. It comes when there is a sharp turn we did not see coming. It comes when the destination feels delayed. It comes when the route does not look like the one we would have chosen.

That is when trust becomes real.

It is easy to say, “God is in control,” when everything is going well. It is much harder to say it when your daughter is in the NICU and discharge gets delayed. It is easy to sing about surrender when life feels stable. It is much harder to live surrendered when you are waiting on another update, another test, another good night, another chance to go home.

But I am learning that the safest place to be is wherever God is leading.

I have learned along the way that roads traveled where God seems to be in the way, or where He feels nowhere to be found, are not the roads I want to be on. If God is stopping me, there is a reason. If God is slowing me down, there is a purpose. If God is redirecting me, there is protection in it. And if God feels silent, I can still trust that He is present.

It ultimately comes down to trust.

Will we rely on God at all times, or only when life makes sense?

Will we surrender to His will, even when His timing is different than ours?

Will we let Him lead, even when we do not know what the next mile holds?

Will we believe that He is good, even when change hurts?

I am learning to say yes.

I am learning to surrender.

I am learning to trust Him one day at a time, one report at a time, one prayer at a time, one breath at a time.

And now, as we stand on the possibility of bringing Sydney home tomorrow, my heart is full. I am hopeful. I am grateful. I am excited. But more than anything, I am trusting God. If tomorrow is the day, we will praise Him. If there is another delay, we will still praise Him. Because His goodness is not measured only by whether things happen according to my timeline. His goodness is seen in the fact that He has carried us every step of the way.

Change may be inevitable, but God is unchanging.

The road may twist and turn, but He is faithful.

The waiting may be hard, but He is working.

The unknown may feel overwhelming, but He already knows the way.

So, I will keep trusting Him. I will keep following Him. I will keep surrendering to His will. And I will keep believing that when Jesus takes the wheel, we will not be disappointed.

Because He has never failed us yet, and He is not going to start now.