Life-Giving Words of Hope & Encouragement

Testimony 1-11-09

It happened to me in an instant—and I will never be the same.

This past year has been one of the hardest I’ve ever walked. Losing my job and carrying the weight of providing for my family pressed me in ways I didn’t expect. I felt fear knocking at the door more than once. But I never felt alone. In the middle of the unknown, I clung to God’s Word and His promise that all things work together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). The Church helped carry my load, just like Paul told us to do, and the Spirit kept reminding me that it is for freedom that Christ has set us free (Galatians 5:1). There is nothing like walking in step with the Holy Spirit—yielded, guided, steady.

While I was worshiping one day, I found myself saying, “Here am I. Send me.” (Isaiah 6:8). It wasn’t just a lyric; it was a surrender. And right there, I sensed God confirming that He was preparing to do something major in my life. God doesn’t give us gifts to hide; He gives them to us so we can pour them out.

I truly serve an awesome God.

My journey with Jesus hasn’t been a straight line, but it has been undeniably real. The more I draw near to Him, the more He fills my heart and mind with Himself. For a long time, I was obsessed with eradicating every sin, as if God were keeping a running tally. Yes, He dealt with some big things in me, but I eventually realized I wasn’t created to be sinless—I was created to be His. He wants the very best for us, and He knows the desires of our hearts. He gives us a hope and a future.

If I could watch a highlight reel of my life from heaven, I wouldn’t choose the scenes of hardship; I’d choose the celebration—the moment I laid down my old ways and became fully sold out to the Lord. The enemy once had plenty of footholds in my life, but the Spirit has a way of gently (and sometimes firmly) spotlighting what doesn’t align with God’s will. I’m humbled by how close God has drawn. I praise Him daily for what He has done and for the supernatural things He is still doing. I don’t want to repeat Israel’s pattern—awed by a miracle one moment and wandering the next. I know anything that rules me makes me its slave; if sin rules, it enslaves. So I cling to the God who reaches with one arm to comfort and with the other to correct—both mercy and truth upholding me.

Forgiveness can feel strange. Even after the “giants” fall and the blood of Jesus washes you clean, those same giants may try to circle back, and old memories can resurface. Rather than asking for forgiveness on a loop and doubting that God could still use me, I learned to praise. Nothing frustrates the enemy more than when we worship through the flashbacks. The longer I denied my flesh, the closer I drew to the Lord. Every sinner has a past, but every saint has a future. I wish I had learned that Jesus was all I needed without feeling like He was all I had—but I can say now that He truly was enough. Because I love Him and am called according to His purpose, He is working all things together in His perfect timing.

Being saved is beautiful; being filled with the Holy Spirit marked me forever. My personal revival is a day I’ll never forget—holy ground in my story. God works everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, and when we seek Him, He lets Himself be found.

When old priorities don’t fit the new life, you either return to the old or embrace the new. My old ways had become roadblocks. A part of me had to die; postponing that decision was just another way of saying no. Pressed by the world from one side and by the Lord’s conviction from the other, I finally fell—straight into grace and mercy. You can’t amputate your history from your destiny. Redemption ties them together. God declares He knows the plans He has for us—plans to prosper, not to harm; plans to give hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Once we are in Christ, the enemy can’t destroy us, so he tries to convince us that we’re already destroyed. Sometimes God’s invisible hand is so close it covers our eyes—and that’s mercy too. Jesus calls us to deny ourselves—not to lose who we are, but to refuse our past wounds, selfish ambition, and damaged emotions the right to cheat us out of His higher plans.

Through His Spirit, God transformed me. He lifted me from the pit, set my feet on solid rock, and put a new song in my mouth (Psalm 40:2–3). I pray many will see and put their trust in the Lord. I thank God for the hammer of His Word and the anvil of His unfailing love that reshaped me. He spared no expense—not even His own Son (Romans 8:32). So what is too big for our God? What is too wonderful for Him?

Even when I don’t see a way, He has one. My part is to let go and let God. When I step out of the way, He moves in supernatural ways. He knows what I need and when I need it. And He doesn’t only meet needs—He delights to give the desires of my heart as they align with His (Psalm 37:4).

I am not who I was. It happened in an instant—but it’s also happening every day, as I keep saying yes. Here I am, Lord. Send me.