Drowning

It’s not a matter of if we will walk through trying times; it’s a matter of when we will.  To say that this last month has been a trying time for my family would be an understatement, but praise the Lord we serve a big enough God!  A few days ago, something profound happened as I was unpacking boxes and putting things where they were supposed to go after our latest move.  As I sat down on my bed, I looked at my dresser drawer wondering what was inside and I am embarrassed to say that as I opened the drawer I realized it was my Bible. 

Lately, with one trial coming on the heels of the previous one, it has been really hard for me to just keep my head above water and the moment it feels like I am going to be able to get a breath; another wave comes crashing over me.  Because I have been moving from one crisis to another I failed to do one of the most important things I could do which is stay grounded in the word.  It can be very easy to become fixated on our own issues to the point where we forget the only real issue there is: helping to seek and save that which is lost.

Every one of us is dealing with something, whether we let the world know about it or not and if we are not careful, we can lose sight of the big picture and unintentionally, we can minimize God’s importance in our life.  Many things could potentially lead to this and for me this something is dealing with constant pain.  Before I go any further, this is not to gain any sympathy; it is just me being transparent.  For those of you who deal with constant pain, you know what I am talking about when I say living with pain is only half living because you are a prisoner to your pain.  Everything you do and for that matter don’t do revolves around your pain. Despite this burden I bear, I don’t want people when they look at me to see someone in pain; I want them to see someone who in spite of their pain loves the Lord and has complete faith and trust in Him.  Choosing to trust God is a choice we all must make regardless of what is going on in our life.  When things are going great it is easy to say you trust in God’s plan, but when you can’t see a way out and the world is caving in around you; these are the times you need to have complete faith in His plan.  For me, if living with pain is what keeps my eyes on the Lord and my ways righteous, then I can only pray that the Lord’s will be accomplished in and through me, but I still pray for complete healing every day and I don’t just pray that God restores me to the place I was before the accident; I pray he makes me even better and I pray that my latter days be even better than my past or present.

Looking back over my life, especially after I recognized the call that God placed upon my life, there has been one thing abundantly clear: God’s ways are better than my own.  I don’t have all the answers, but I know who does and I trust Him in all things, especially in the things I cannot explain.  The joy of the Lord is my strength and when the valley seems deepest and darkest, that’s when we must look to the Lord to be the light unto our feet.