Confession: Why, if it is so good for the soul, is it so hard?

It is hard to admit to God, to ourselves, and especially to another person the exact nature of our wrongs, but why?

James 5:16 says, “Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

Christ has made it possible for us to go directly to God for forgiveness, but confessing our sins to each other still has an important place in the life of the church:

(1) If we have sinned against an individual, we must ask him or her to forgive us. Our unforgiveness actually hinders our prayers and God’s forgiving of our own sins!

(2) If we need loving support as we struggle with a sin, we should confess that sin to those who are able to provide that support. Two are stronger than one and a cord of three is not easily broken.

(3) If we doubt God’s forgiveness, after confessing a sin to Him, we may wish to confess that sin to a fellow believer for assurance of God’s pardon. Guilt and shame run deep with sin and often the last phase of the healing process is helping someone else walk through a similar trial, season, and/or circumstance.

In Christ’s Kingdom, every believer is a priest to other believers and the Christian’s most powerful resource is communion with God through prayer. While many see prayer as a last resort, only to be tried when all else fails, this approach is completely backwards. Prayer should come first because God’s power is infinitely greater than ours, so it only makes sense to rely on it—especially because God encourages and tells us to do so.

We are as sick as our secrets and keeping our shortcomings, resentments, and sins from God is foolish because for starters, He already knows everything we have done and will do, and secondly because He has already declared us not guilty nor condemned, as soon as we turn to Him in repentance and cast our cares and burdens upon the Lord.

I believe the real issue arises when we are told to confess our sins to each other. Most of us know and still feel the sting of betrayal and constantly see people jockeying for position and capitalizing on the acquisition of information. With broken legs we chase perfection and it becomes a sick and twisted game of, “Do you know what so and so struggles with or did?” People then become defined by their mistakes and as a result, most people show up for church with their Sunday masks on and continue portraying a mere façade of truth and what is actually going on.

When we are able to confess our sins, we will discover the grace and mercy of God. God’s grace is receiving something we do not deserve: salvation & forgiveness, and His mercy is not getting what we do deserve: condemnation & judgment.

Romans 3:23-24 explains, “All have sinned… yet now God declares us not guilty… if we trust in Jesus Christ, who… freely takes away our sins.”

When we can arrive at a place where we have no more guilt and shame from our past wrongs, we are ready to face the truth, and to allow God to ease the pain. While pain is a cruel and effective teacher, our misery in the process is optional, because God replaces our pain with ease for His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

The last step in finding peace through confession comes by stopping the blame game and instead choosing to trust God. We have gotten very good at rationalizing and justifying certain areas of sin, to the point where we can say, “This ______ sin is for their own or the greater good.” While this may sound crazy at first glance, I promise you the progression from thought to action and from action to stronghold does not take long and it is a depraved and warped process one can easily get themselves wrapped up in.

Our secrets isolate us and leave us vulnerable to attack. This is exactly where the enemy wants us and like a predator seeking to steal, kill, and destroy the weakest of the herd, he lies in wait for the exact opportunity to inflict the most harm, in an effort to take us out.

The key to rejoining the community and fellowship with God is humility and transparency. While we are created in the image of God, we live in a fallen world, one in which we are called to be salt and light. Only when we are comfortable in our own skin, by discussing the hurts, habits, and hang-ups of our past, will we have the opportunity to come alongside those walking through similar situations. Only by offering them love, acceptance, and forgiveness will we be in a place to then comfort those in need and point them to Christ, the perfecter of our faith and the Holy Spirit, our comforter and counselor.

Lastly, only once we take the plank out of our own eye will we be able to see the world through the lens of the cross and only by maintaining our communion with God will our hearts break for what breaks His. To confess and be forgiven is so freeing, while harboring unforgiveness makes us a prisoner to those we choose not to forgive, much like resentment leads one to drink poison, all the while expecting the other person to die. Instead, we must give it all to God, because His Word promises He will use ALL things for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose and He swears by His own name because there is no name higher!

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